Introduction to why I’m not gay

Hello to all of you out there. I have to say that this blogging experience is about MY EXPERIENCES, which may not be typical of others’ experiences.

I am a 41 Year old homosexual male, who is attracted to men. I knew of this attraction at the age of 5, when i realized that my father spanking me… somehow felt good. I later became a teenager and had thoughts on what I wanted to do to our mailman. This confirmed that I was not heterosexual. Sure, I did dabble in females, ladies, etc., in my high school years. I then found out that men had what I needed.

I had bumped into many a gay men, within my lifetime. Some healthy, some with AIDS, some peppy, some down to earth. Seems that I always ran into the same things.

I just cannot understand why someone who is gay… has to tell the world? Really… is how one has sex that important to the world?

As for my thinking on this…. being “out” is now “rubbish.” I now see gay men mentioning that they are gay, within the first sentence. I’m so glad that they put their life on display… particularly, the .5% of the bedroom, non-sleeping habits. This is no longer a novelty to many I have talked to, who are not gay. In fact, it’s seen as annoying. I tend to agree. I see guys say “Hi, I’m Billy… I’m gay, by the way.” I think to myself “As if we couldn’t tell already!” Why are people no longer human? why must we separate ourselves? It’s not like we are fighting for our freedom anymore, other than “marriage.”

I have also ran into another common theme… Gays vote Democrat only. Not true. I am Libertarian, with Republican values sprinkled in. For the last 15 years, have notice me being “family values” and “respect,” along with “personal responsibility minded.” Living in the AIDS years, being hurt by disrespect of others, and the general disregard for others in the gay community… gently guided me to being more… shall I say it…. “CONSERVATIVE and homosexual.”

If you have noticed, I do not call myself “gay.” I am not happy being “gay.” I am not happy with the community that calls itself by the same name. To me, there is just to much “live and let live,” which is why millions of the gay community died. Same goes for catching social diseases, back and forth.

I have had a hard time in the gay community, with the gay community too. I guarantee that I am not the only one…. just the only person who is willing to openly talk about it.

I can already see gay community members and gay or sympathetic activists saying that I need to go to the electric chair… because it’s already happened. That’s the total disregard of someone else’s thinking and free speech. I was also termed a “hater.”

I want to know who else had a bad experience in the gay community, as I go along writing about my travels and coping with being homosexual and avoiding the gay community. Feel free to put up constructive comments to this blog. I can’t be the only one who’s had a struggle.

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One Response to Introduction to why I’m not gay

  1. Really enjoyed reading that.
    I’m a lesbian, in college, who is essentially in that same situation of “Why should I announce to people that I’m gay. I don’t fit in with the gay crowd. I don’t vote the right way, I don’t act the right way, except for being attracted to women, I don’t fit into the gay ‘stereotype’ at all”

    It is disheartening when you realize that the majority of the gay community would gladly lynch you for having different opinions than them. “It gets better” HAH! What a joke.

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